Day dreams

I'm too tired to go out tonight, but I'm desperately frustrated. I broke another vibrator last week. This frustration is giving me time to think. 


Stuck at home with no orgasms, just total frustration.


I'm preoccupied by some D/s fantasies that have been swirling through my head lately. I'm starting to feel like a junky who needs a fix.


As much fun as I've had with (s)Ex, I'm desperate for something more. To give it analogy, I've been drinking low alcohol Moscato wine. I'm craving something more like an overproofed rum. Something that is dark and strong and hot. That burns a little.

Something that will hurt for days.


I'm craving the feeling of restriction and the absence of control.


I crave surrender.


It's a feeling I can only mimic by myself. I can't have it altogether.


I can only pretend.


There's a part of this that's making me nervous and anxious.


Part of me never wants to play this game with anyone again.


Part of me knows I'll never be happy until I do.