So last night BabyFace came over. We talked.
It was amazing. We drank red wine. We had an honest conversation.
We spoke about BDSM.
He's finally come to terms with it. He's a Switch. He just broke up with a Domme.
I couldn't even believe the things I was hearing. BabyFace is now a big bad Switch, looking for a sub to Dom. I could see it in his eyes too.
I feel bad, perhaps I took some of that innocence.
Regardless, he's as sweet as ever. I curled up, put my head in his lap and he stroked my hair while we watched a movie.
Then we curled up on my bed, he held me close.
No kissing, no sex, he just held me. Then he said that he didn't want me to vanish on him again.
He told me he was sorry. That he understood his behaviour forced me into a position where I had to be a bitch. I don't perfectly agree, though his behaviour, at times, was substandard.
We're at a new level of honesty, of understanding, of respect.
Though consider this a plea: Please don't fall in love with me again, I promise I'll break your heart again.
He'll fall in love again...its only a matter of time with you. Maybe there is a little more to it for you as well...time will tell. Thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteHi Quenton,
DeleteI suspect you're right.
I suspect that it's a matter of time.
I don't want you to be right, but I think you are.
Most of all, I wish that there was more for me. There isn't. I wished there was a thousand times. But I'll always just be a surrogate mother to him. Never an equal.
With love
SSB
And there is the key...you shouldn't feel the need to be more of anything! You are perfect for who you are and if you can never be viewed as equal than I suppose you're right and I, too, wish that feelings don't develop for him or you because that will only result in heart ache.
Delete